My grandma goes by "nona" so I have to learn to call her that,
as if I had all my life. The moment I was able to call her "nona"
without hesitation, it such a relief. When I was finally able to refer
to her in conversation or get her attention without it being a whole thing,
that's when I felt I finally had a grandmother. But this saddened me
because I had missed out on having one for twenty-one years.
And she hadn't had me as a granddaughter for twenty-one years and
let me say that I know I could have been a great granddaughter.